spring sprung...

it is definitely feeling like spring is beginning to ...spring (?) around here at the moment. Today we had our lunch al fresco out back and played in the grass for a while.

after the food was gone, Elanor was nowhere to be seen - as per...it seems like that girl never stops! It is days like these that I am SO grateful that my babes have all this green to run, roll and crawl around in; trees to climb, hills to slide down, sheep to talk to and all without leaving home. Blessed.

bring on a weekend full of this, please and thank you...

babes...

I am totally into One Born Every Minute at the moment - I stay up especially (past my bedtime!!) on a Tuesday night to watch it... and cry. At least once. Every week.
It. Is. Amazing.
Then someone mentioned birth videos on Youtube....One Born ondemand!!
There is something so amazing about the miracle of birth and remembering all the things physical, mental, spiritual that it brought forth when it was your turn. Wow!
I can't wait for one of my friends to have a baby! Who's next??
and can I come? Just kidding....kind of....

Toasty love...

for all it's worth to my many thousands of followers (!!), here is a giveaway you should TOTALLY get amongst over at the Toast Clothing facebook page. Rhiannon is giving away a $25 voucher to her felt shop, woohoo! Thanks you lovely lady you xx

on ladies and bodies...

following on from my last post I have been thinking more about ladies and the strange relationships we seem to have with our bodies. Not being a man (!) I can't say that all men are totally fine with the way their bodies are but I think, generally, they are not as preoccupied with theirs as we ladies are with ours.

I have had an on-off (mainly on) negative relationship with my body for a good...ooh...15 years? One which has consisted of being a chubby kid, then skinnier then fat then skinny and thinking I was fat then medium then having a baby then being fat then having another baby and being in my current situation which is....what? Unhappy?

Why does this seem to be a common thing with women? Or is it only the women who I talk to, surely not. Why is it that we seem to spend most of our lives being unhappy with the body we currently have and walking around with grey clouds containing fluctuating numbers, lumpy bits, sexy chocolate bars and boring-ass  fat free yoghurt hanging over our heads? A study in 2006 showed that on the whole young girls were more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer or losing their parents. How on earth did we get to that point? It is scary to think, having two little girls of my own, that this is the way the "mainstream" is headed... or are we already there? Is it the media, ourselves, our peers...or d) all of the above, who have so ingrained thoughts of weight-watching into our minds and more importantly the minds of our little ones?

I realize that not all ladies struggle with these thoughts - more power to you sisters! But I am and probably always will be one of the ones who does. While I appreciate the whole fat activism, fat acceptance movement, it really isn't for me - just because you're fatter than me and love your body doesn't automatically mean that I should or am going to love mine. Sorry, I'm just not.  What I am after is...body acceptance, body peace I guess. If I cannot learn to be head over heels in love with the way I look, I want to at least be able to be at peace with it in order to be a positive role model for my daughters. NZ researchers have found that 54% of girls reported dieting – most having started prior to the age of 13 years (so young!) and that exposure to dieting-related media is associated with psycho-social distress and unhealthy dieting for young women.  I would like to bring up my girls in a household where we embrace curves and jiggly bits, where we don't look at ourselves or others and see a size, where they don't hear Mama talking about dieting or how fat she is, where we are at peace with our bodies and recognize the many, many good parts (inside and out).  I know I have a few years to sort myself out (babes currently being 2.5years and 4 months!) but after 15 years it's time to start a more concerted effort towards being at peace with the lady I am and the lady I will become.

I charge you all to do it too (unless you are one of the aforementioned non-strugglers). Do it for the little ladies in your lives, do it for yourselves...
See you in the peaceful place xx

not as much of an essay as I'd feared! 

   

true post-baby body...

So I watched Jaquie Brown's new series "Keep calm and carry on" last night and she made a big deal of showing her "post-baby body"....I thought WOW, how brave - a NZ "celebrity" ready to show the nitty gritty...and to be honest I was disappointed. I looked at her and saw...nothing. Ok, maybe a little chub but really...nothing. I look at myself and see a pile of pizza dough big enough to make deep dish for a family of 6 stuck to my front. I guess I wanted to see a body that looks like mine, now 4 months postpartum... Why do we feel the need to compare?

It was probably a huuuuuge thing for her, I don't want to cheapen it and I guess we all have issues with our bodies, especially after pregnancy (post to come...!!) but after 2 children it is safe to say my body will NEVER be the same again and I think it will take me a long time to come to terms with this. It's quite possible that I won't, but that's nothing new for me (again, post to come!). So I wanted to do something brave...more brave than Jaquie Brown, I feel, as I actually have something to "show off". So, here she is... in all her glory.... my post-baby body...

That is all...

lemon (and coconut) cake...

this is the perfect cake to bring sunshine to a rainy Sunday afternoon...

175g self raising flour

175g caster sugar

125g butter/marg

2 eggs

65ml milk

fine shredded coconut (optional)

zest of lemon...as much as your family enjoy

3 Tbsp sugar

juice of 1 large or 2 small lemons

basically chuck everything (except the water and lemon juice) in a mixer and mix...pour into a prepared loaf tin and bake at 180 degrees for around 40-50mins (depending on your oven!). Poke holes in the still warm cake and pour over a syrup made from dissolving the sugar in the lemon juice. Leave to cool (if you can...) then devour....

bathroom...

I got bored of looking at a white wall... so I used this tutorial to make a friendly reminder from some fabric I could find no other use for.

before...

hammer...?

after...

Public health warnings (and mine and Elanor's hands) have never looked so good...

and we're back...

after pity-party-5000 last week, we found things to make us smile this weekend. Including but not limited to a new character, Elanor breastfeeding Dora, sweet shades, new slippers, a pirate baby and Maggie looking up ways to use our land with Dada...

onwards and upwards

xx

I'ma have a whinge up in here...

the title of this post should serve as a warning...turn back now if you don't want to hear it!

Still here? Ok then...brace yourself for some sweet, sweet negativity.

I am sick of looking like crap. "Sort your shit out then (or something to that effect" I hear you cry; if only it were that easy. Every week I promise myself I'll be good, I'll try and exercise, try and do my hair in the morning, try and ....try. Then I find myself at this end of the week feeling even worse because I haven't.
I avoid mirrors. I cried yesterday 'cos I didn't want to be filmed and I had agreed to be in some vain hope that I'd be looking better by the time it came around. Wah wah wah... you get the picture.

It's not like I want people to tell me I look good or anything (although that's always nice)...I want to feel good. I want to not have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when it's time to get dressed or when I catch an accidental glimpse of myself in a window or mirror. It will come in time, I know. But patience has never been one of my virtues.

On the upside, Elanor and I have been enjoying having a dance to this today.... dance party!

If we're offending you please feel free to put a blanket over your head...

BFF #5: Remarkably, your breasts will only produce as much milk as your baby needs, no more and no less. When you start breastfeeding, your breasts will start producing more milk, but as feedings slow down, your body just naturally stops producing it. Magic!

I have never been afraid to nurse in public, right from the word go. I think it is due to super support from my husband and family and to thinking about it logically - baby needs food, feed baby.
I understand that some women do not feel comfortable feeding in public, something which is not made easier when people make comments like "why do you have to flop 'em out here"...and other such charming "tit" related comments. Please at least say breast or boob even and make yourself sound a tad more classy. Anyway...I digress.
I am always discreet about it but never hide. No blankets here thank you! More trouble than it's worth if you ask me. But that's me.

having a "coffee" out with Nana

frozen treats...

BFF #4: if babe has a bunged up nose, squirt some milk up it!

This is most of the milk I have collected since Maggie was born - around 3.6L of it.

The thing is....I'm going to have to use lots of it in the next 2-4 months... eep! I have connected with the Human Milk 4 Human Babies Aotearoa network so am hoping to give some away to someone that needs it.
Mags is not interested in a bottle and I don't want it going to waste really. I am still collecting about 400-600mL a week too. Got Milk? Heck yeah we do!

weaning...or not...

BFF #3: breast milk can be used to get rid of warts - true story!

I often find myself wondering how long Maggie will feed for (already?! I hear you screaming). Only because one day, out of the blue, at 10 months old Elanor just stopped. She was still feeding around 4-6 times a day and just stopped. I tried offering her the breast for about 2 weeks with the only result being me getting upset, so finally gave it up as a lost cause. It really threw me off...I was, for some reason, expecting a nice gentle weaning period. Not so. Which is why I wonder whether the same thing will happen again, or not.

check those delicious rolls!

 For now we are just packing on the pounds! Unfortunately that refers to both of us...but that's for another day. sigh.

cryptic much?

I am in the very early stages of starting a new project.  I'm not entirely sure if it will be a "keeper" but let's just say I hope to heck it is! I am super excited but just have to sort things a few things out first then who knows, maybe this time next year I'll be playing a show in your town. Woop!

sweet, milky dreams...

Last feed before a big sleep...always a sweet one.

Night night

on demand...

BFF #2: almost three-quarters of mamas produce more milk with their right breast (no correlation to being right or left - handed).

I have never been one to parent to a schedule and feeding is no different. With both babes this is where you have generally found me from 7.30pm until around anywhere between 9 and 10pm (when I slink with sleeping babe down to bed)...feeding. Cluster feeding.
Elanor gave this "routine" up around 6 months and just had a "dinner" feed then a "supper" feed. It will be interesting to see whether Maggie does the same. Either way, we just roll with the punches in this whare.

Sitting like this for 2 hours gives me the perfect excuse to watch Coronation St., read books and/or stare at my ever changing little one.