This is written in the morning haze after a night of 3 hours sleep...and not even 3 consecutive hours. I think Maggie may be teething already, poor little girl. So, forgive me if I ramble... I just need to empty my head.
On Tuesday (our time) or Monday (UK time), whichever way you look at it my world changed. Not only my world but that of all the people who knew her, all my family and especially that of my Mum. Mary Lord is my Mum's Nana, my Great Nana and my babies Great Great Nana. She died at the age of 107, she was tired, it was time to go.
Nan has always had a wicked sense of humour, a huge heart and an inner strength that I would be happy if I could exhibit a 10th of. She lived through 2 world wars and so much more - stories of accidentally letting my Nana Doreen roll down a hill in her pram on the way to visit Jimmy at the butchers or the reasons behind why she hates banana sandwiches because of the lady she was forced to look after while her friends were playing out never got old. But she did... Now I know that seems to be a silly thing to say; she's a human being not a robot! She had always been onld to me but never seemed her age. On many occasions she's been caught up on a chair changing lightbulbs or out the front of her house weeding the path with a spoon but in the last few years she had gotten old and tired, can you blame her? Considering this though she was sharp as a whip and always said what she thought, right to the end. You could always count on Nan to let you know if you'd put weight on!
In 2010 I was lucky enough to be able to take Elanor over to England to visit and I'll never forget the way she couldn't wait for me to get Elanor up off the floor to her so she scooped her up on her leg and shimmied her up onto her knee, to spend the next hour or so completely absorbed in my little creation. My heart swells just thinking about it.
I know this is hardest for my Mum. Having already lost both her Mum and Dad, Nan is a big goodbye. Nan has always been more like a mother to my Mum and they have been pillars of strength to each other through times of trial. Don't worry Mum, she will be with you always (telling you you've gained weight or your hair is too short!) watching, guiding and supporting you and I know that every day you will make her smile, and she you.
I am glad that Nan was in no pain, she didn't lose her marbles or her sense of self. It was time, she was tired and I don't think anyone begrudges her a nice peaceful sleep. I hope that every day I can make you proud Nan...You have guided our family with strength and diginity and it will be a little like a boat without an anchor for a long while but we will know you are still with us in our hearts. Pō Marie xx
This post is beautifully written. I had to have a little sob. She sounds like a lovely lady, and I have no doubt that she would be incredibly proud of you (and your wee family).
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