30 (day) drawing challenge - #11, turning point in your life...

So there are two turning points featured here... Having Elanor and giving birth to Maggie. Surprisingly, two different things and two different turns.

This is how I remember Ebaby's first few weeks/months. We called her little bean - butter bean in the yellow wrap, green bean in the green wrap and jelly bean in the blue. Nerds. At this point my life took a turn towards learning to go with the flow... In my mind I had always been pretty relaxed and adaptable but after the first couple of days of worrying about how much she was feeding, when she was sleeping etc etc I just thought "let go, go with it" and we did...and things were awesome. Things ARE awesome. I am finding it harder to employ this philosophy now that she is a 2, nearly 3 year old but I still remind myself daily to guide her gently...to go with it.

The second turning point came in giving birth to Maggie...
(or Magga-wagga as she has been christened by Elanor)

Yes, that is a drawing of me pushing a baby out of my vagina and HOLY COW it was good! Not only did my life turn with the double trouble (something I am still getting used to every day!) into a kind of bubble where I do anything and everything every day to keep the littles happy and everything else comes after... I realize that this is not sustainable but am more than happy to be doing it for now. Anyways, it was the physical act of giving birth to Maggie that turned me this time. After the 14 hour labour that resulted in an emergency c-section with Elanor I was left feeling kind of deflated. Nothing had gone to "plan" of a natural waterbirth and with that I felt like I had failed. I hear you screaming "noooooooooo" but one can never account for ones feelings and that was how I felt. Not overwhelmingly but it was just there like a soft hum in the background so when I found out we were having #2 I was dead set on pushing this baby out. Hypnobirthing CDs, yoga, squatting, acupuncture to turn the bugger...but most of all it was the support of my husband, my midwife and my family that I believe enabled me to do it. Scratch that - it was the intense belief that Baby and I could and would do it! And do it we did - 4 hours from the first niggle to that beautiful babe being in my arms and I was healed (not literally...the stitches did that!).

Baby Joy!