one of those ones...

There are times when I feel like it is all getting on top of me. Now is one of those...
But it's before 8am...yes, yes it is.

Elanor got up at the sparrows fart (which she never ususally does) after I had been up and down up and down all night with the other (which is becoming a more frequent thing...). So far there are nappies in the washing machine I can't remember whether I've washed, my teeth are killing me, a wee on the carpet, tears because the giant hoodie won't stay on the rather small tiger and a spilled cup of tea. So yes, it is all getting on top of me pre-8am.

99.9% of the time I am madly in love with my children, whether they're being "good" or not but, and I hate to admit it, there is a small portion of time in which I want to leave the house on my own and do something for half a day. I know, I know, my time will come... In fact it is supposed to come in about 6 weeks when we're supposed to be going up to Auckland to see Mumford & Son but I am toying with the idea of selling the tickets (not that I've told the mister yet, or my parents, who bought mine for my birthday). Maggie will not take breast milk from anything but my breast and the pessimist in me doesn't see that changing in the next 6 weeks... I don't want to force it and upset her. I also don't want to leave her if she's going to be upset about it. Contradiction much...I just said I wanted to run away and do something on my own...but that's just one of those hazy daydream things without real consequences. You know the one where you're slim and beautifully dressed with perfectly tousled locks and you grab one of those small handbags you used to carry and run out of the door into a gorgeous spring day filled with lounging around in bar gardens, eating a whole bowl of curly fires to yourself and moseying around shops/gardens/galleries and everyone at home is fine... one of those ones.

My guess is that on days like these you just have to take comfort in those things that don't make you want to cry.