following on from my last post I have been thinking more about ladies and the strange relationships we seem to have with our bodies. Not being a man (!) I can't say that all men are totally fine with the way their bodies are but I think, generally, they are not as preoccupied with theirs as we ladies are with ours.
I have had an on-off (mainly on) negative relationship with my body for a good...ooh...15 years? One which has consisted of being a chubby kid, then skinnier then fat then skinny and thinking I was fat then medium then having a baby then being fat then having another baby and being in my current situation which is....what? Unhappy?
Why does this seem to be a common thing with women? Or is it only the women who I talk to, surely not. Why is it that we seem to spend most of our lives being unhappy with the body we currently have and walking around with grey clouds containing fluctuating numbers, lumpy bits, sexy chocolate bars and boring-ass fat free yoghurt hanging over our heads? A study in 2006 showed that on the whole young girls were
more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer or losing their parents. How on earth did we get to that point? It is scary to think, having two little girls of my own, that this is the way the "mainstream" is headed... or are we already there? Is it the media, ourselves, our peers...or d) all of the above, who have so ingrained thoughts of weight-watching into our minds and more importantly the minds of our little ones?
I realize that not all ladies struggle with these thoughts - more power to you sisters! But I am and probably always will be one of the ones who does. While I appreciate the whole fat activism, fat acceptance movement, it really isn't for me - just because you're fatter than me and love your body doesn't automatically mean that I should or am going to love mine. Sorry, I'm just not. What I am after is...body acceptance, body peace I guess. If I cannot learn to be head over heels in love with the way I look, I want to at least be able to be at peace with it in order to be a positive role model for my daughters. NZ researchers have found that 54% of girls reported dieting – most having started prior to the age of 13 years (so young!) and that exposure to dieting-related media is associated with psycho-social distress and unhealthy dieting for young women. I would like to bring up my girls in a household where we embrace curves and jiggly bits, where we don't look at ourselves or others and see a size, where they don't hear Mama talking about dieting or how fat she is, where we are at peace with our bodies and recognize the many, many good parts (inside and out). I know I have a few years to sort myself out (babes currently being 2.5years and 4 months!) but after 15 years it's time to start a more concerted effort towards being at peace with the lady I am and the lady I will become.
I charge you all to do it too (unless you are one of the aforementioned non-strugglers). Do it for the little ladies in your lives, do it for yourselves...
See you in the peaceful place xx
not as much of an essay as I'd feared!
